GROUNDED [26 Mar 2005|06:09pm] guys...im back from texas....   and in the first 15 minutes i found out...     IM GROUNDED!!   i hate this...later all oh yea im gonna make a new journal soon...leave a comment if you want it   love you kelly <311 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

LMAO [19 Feb 2005|12:04am] danikas looking at penis enlargment advertisements she looking at porn magazines too and masturbating with the remote..... <3kel <3CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

omfgggggg [18 Feb 2005|11:39pm] [ mood | high ] [ music | You Dont Know Me - T.I. ] hahahha omfg ok first me cameron n danika played hide n seek in the rain with her sister and her sisters friend and it started raining and we couldnt find them....so we went to cold stone n just left them in their hiding places... omg now DANIKA AND HER CUZZIN ARE GRINDING!!!!!! lmao theyre trying to teach me omg omg ...haha and now camerons trying to teach danika how to salsa and he farted!!!! omg i love them!!!!!!!! my stomach hurts from laffing so hard!!!!! omg yay im spending the nite this is soooooo awesome!!!! ye-ah!!!! alrite yall im out...back to dancing;-) i dont wanna be nething other than what ive been tryin to be lately <3kel camerons lying on the ground naked cuz hes drunk....haha kelly can sing and danika can dance like a black girl cameron can do both...yes, he can dance like a black girl too were taking ectasy camerons leaching on danika fuck yea this is interesting camerons licking the pillow camerons making out with the pillow kellys typing with her nipples danikas making burritos....but also shaving...yea.that. lmao danika n cameron are smuggling mexicans across the border on bicycles theyre playing steamrollers...i better go join them ok im done now love you always <3kelly i better go get the vikaden... <39 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

FUUUCKKKKKKKKKK [17 Feb 2005|08:19am] fuck. i have to present next period. school sucks ass. i hate it. i want to go home. ;akldjfa;dkfjakdjfadksfjas actually i dont cuz then i have to go to the dermatologist n then i have to go to piano... god i just want so relax!!!!!!!!! haha o well mayb ill get to go to the movies this weekend. or to six flags... omg i have a physics test. shit. my packets not even half done. and i dont get the stuff at all. screw it. ok bells about to ring. later kelly <32 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

[12 Feb 2005|12:24am] ignore the last one <31 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

mY fUcKiNg LiFe [12 Feb 2005|12:18am] stand up straight. the room goes dim. colors swirl and the walls cave in. the floor is shifting. my eyes roll back. hands are numb. feet are cold. my head drops down. my body shakes. eyes are open. cant see a thing. on the floor and everythings black. wake up just to do it again. <31 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

[10 Feb 2005|07:51am] [ mood | sleepy ] wow. im in first period again. surprise? i think not. were diong nothing again...i went to danikas last...and hopefully im going to the movies tomorrow with brit mo n danika...fun...my parents are leaving today...they wont be back till monday... ive stopped being mad at everything...whats the point...it doesnt help...life doesnt get better...so u just live through it...maybe ill start going to church again all the time so i can start hanging out with them...that always used to be fun... i hear the counselors arecoming into 2nd period today...this sucks...i dont wanna hear about all the crap we have to do to be able to graduate...im stressed enuff as it is with school...how dumb.... hm, leme think of sumthing interesting to put in here.... oh sry...couldnt find ne...thats how bored i am....o well i love you guys... <3kelly its not the ones who scream and swear they want to kill themselves that u gotta worry about.... its the ones who fall asleep every nite hoping that this will be the nite they fall asleep forever <31 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

[08 Feb 2005|07:38am] ok so uh, now i finally have time to finished updating from yesterday...so, 3rd period sucked cuz we had to turn this crap in that i had no clue how to do but eh, wutever.. 4th: got a B on the test..Same as Kaley! wutever she grades so freaking hard i hate her...neways...i didnt get the stupid lesson this time and she made my head hurt...dude. math sucks lunch: haha ppl lit the signs on fire...niice...they werent selling cajun fries so i went to buy maddie a cookie...it was alrite...I GOT TO SEE BRITTANY!!!! haha ilove her...shes so awesome...we saw mo !!!! and i cant write exactly wut happened cuz the other person reads this too...and i dont think that person should know our joke lmao...but me n brittany were just CRACKING up haha great stuff 5th: had a test...it was the fastest one ive ever taken...but i think i got one wrong cuz maddie and michelle babick got a different answer than me...eh screw it.. 6th...finisehd up the english crap...updated...talked to jordi like always haha thats always fun... babysat jennifer when i got home... made dinner...went to counseling...she said I was on to sumthing and that i had tons of crap stored up from before...i swear..i talked for like the whole hour straight that time...she said a part of me shut down a long time ago, i think i agree..but she says im doing better...and my moods have been better...so eh, mayb im gettin there... :-) :-) :-):-) :-) :-):-) :-) :-):-) :-) :-):-) :-) :-):-) :-) :-):-) :-) :-) i went to danikas after to do sum work...all brittany does is complain!!(johnson) haha but i still love her anyways!!! had sum chocolate milk...looked at myspaces...talked to danika...it was fun...its cool just hanging out with her...i think so at least...i think she gets bored to death...o well haha... well im gonna go...that was boring, sorry lol... love you! kelly <39 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

[07 Feb 2005|02:05pm] Hi!!!!! haha its been forever...buuut im bored and am just sittin here talkin to jordi sorta in last period...dammit i wish i had ditched...eh 1st-boring...talked to laura sum 2nd-haha...i got to see danika!! went to the library...me: "remember when i said i wasnt gonna work?" ms scarafone "i think about that every day" haha bell just rung ill finish up later <32 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

FINAL #1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [26 Jan 2005|09:14am] omg im so bored...haha ijust finished the first final (computers)in an hour and so i had a whole hour left to sit and do nothing...so i studied math and finished sum of the worksheets...i still have one left...yupppp so i think i did ok on my first one...i feel pretty good about...im kinda scared for english tho...i hate writing essays...and if i get rushed i freak out...and i like have mind blanks...and dont know wut to write meh...we have two hours tho so i think itll be alright...cuz we had to write an essay in one hour once...and i finisehd that...ohhh but we have ?'s to answer too...df;akdjf;aklj ahhhhhhhhhh i hate this...lmao i cant wait till the days over... GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE UR ALL DOIN OK!!!! <3kelly <32 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

*Forget about your last good-bye's and you'll be sorry's* [24 Jan 2005|07:56am] HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII haha i havent written in here forever...and it probably doesnt matter cuz no one comments ahaha but i dont care...reallly... dude yesterdya sucked...i cried so much that my head started hurting ..aldkfja;sdkfja...my mom came home from church n told me that no one ever does nething round the house...so i was ok with that n i was gonna go clean...n then my brother starts talking about how its all my fault and so THAT pissed me off...i yelled at him n went into the other room... but my mom made me come back and and sit down and look at her(i hate when they do that..WHY do i have to look at them and sit next to them when they talk to me) so i got threatend to be grounede for 2 weeks (like thats ever gonna happen ive never been grounded in my life)and then she started talking to me... BUT THEN ray started making fun of me again...and my MOM started laffing at me too...i was like o fuck no...so i went to my room and just cried...my mom never gets me...so then she starts talking to me again , and i was just like no, mom, leave ...no matter how long we talk we'll never fix nething...so she just sat there looking at me making me feel horrible...and then she told me she loved me...i just sat there....i left and went to take a shower...she came in WHILE i was taking a shower...a;dkfj;adskfj started tlaking to me agian...i said i didnt wanna talk ..she said she didnt care she was leaving soon...i screamed at her...i didnt wanna talk...she left...didnt come back till 8... after my shower..i went to my room changed cleaned a little and then sat in front of the mirror...and cried...i couldnt look at myself...i started just listing off everything that was wrong with me...n how i hurt everyone and that i was te one who was screwing up my family...n then i thot about how i hadnt talked to neone over the weekend...and how i did nothing but hw...and how no one called...and when i called danika she didnt ask me to do nething...then i thot about school...and how i had tons to do b4 finals...and how adklfja;dskfj god im just gonna stop there...basically, i felt like nothing..i felt like i was worthless n there was nothing good about me...which sucks..i hate when i feel like that... so i just layed on my floor and cried...n then i fell asleep...and when i woke up i staretd doing my hw again...and my brother n sister were watching the game...and everytime i said sumthing theyd act like i was crazy and theyd make fun of me...nice...i layed down on the couch and cried/slept sum more...then later i went to rosaritos with jenny n ray for dinner...i left a note for my mom...saying i was a jerk n that i was sorry.... came home...mom was there...she huged me...sat on the floor my brother n sister were on the couch with me...and she talked ot me...and i told her how i hate everything right now...cuz i go to school everyday feeling like no one cares...and when things go on...no one ever asks me to do nething unless i ask them about it first...and how no one calls...howi dont fit in...how everyone else had/has a boyfriend...how i dont think danika really cares nemore...how i feel like everythings worng with me...how im shy... i cried...she just sat there...didnt know wut to say....and she left the room... haha what a fun day...but im good now...ya know, just keep it in...then let it out on my family cuz i dont really talk to neone else who cares about wuts happening with me...i usually just tlak about wuts goin on with them...btu its all good cuz im used to it now... i just wanna move i love you <3kelly but really tho, im fine...i think today'll be good <38 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

*songs* [20 Jan 2005|12:03pm] 1. take the first 20 songs on your playlist 2. write your favorite part of each song, numbered 1-20 3. post it and have people guess the name of the band and title of the song. 1. "Once again, we’re playing off emotion Which one of us will burn until the end? catalyst, you insist to pull me down you contradict the fact that you still want me around." 2. "So give me all your poison And give me all your pills And give me all your hopeless hearts And make me ill " 3. "In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in Until I found out That I don't belong here " 4. "I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason ..." 5. "And I don't know if you could ever understand, These are the things I can't say when were alone." 6. "And I struggled to get myself up again I wanna hang onto something That won't break away or fall apart Like the pieces of my heart " 7. "Drain the pressure from the swelling, The sensations overwhelming" 8. "True, it may seem like a stretch, but Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled Head when you're away when I am missing you to death" 9. "i would bring you a rope and take all the pain, all the pain that you hide from me everyday" 10. "this road to recovery has taken all i have" 11."dont do this man, theres another one off behind breaking down the door without warning" 12. "tell me, are you ona mission to bring me down? i dont wanna hear it and i just cant believe it...all the stupid things you say.." 13. "you made me swear. i cant sleep realize all these things that u took from me. smash my heart. suffocate my mind. smash apart what you created" 14. "am i the star beneath the stairs? am i the ghost upon the stage? am i your nething? and i dont want to die tonite will you believe in me? will you beileve in me tonite?" 15. "oh simple thing where have you gone? im gettin old n i need sumthin to rely on. o tell me when, ur gonna let me in, im gettin tired n i need sumwehre to begin" 16. "dont know why im even here, guess im afraid to be alone.." 17. "exhale another wasted breath, again it goes unnoticed. please tell me that u are feeling tired. cuz if its more than that i feel that i mite break" 18. "dancing in plastic shake-up know, do you believe in what you want?" 19. "ill take care of you, have faith that when you call my name ill be there" 20. "I fell tired, asleep in a golden ocean Your eyes perspired, a spike in my fascination" yup that took FOREVER lmao but eh fun...leave sum, tell me if ya know en of em <3kelly <33 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

Best day ever!!!! [15 Jan 2005|06:53pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Kelly Clarkson-Beautiful Disaster ] lol ok so i went to danika n had sum philipino food yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok so we ate and talked to the auzzie and alex called her and started crying cuz danika coulndt do nething with her... so i made danika call her back and ask her to come...and instead of sleeping at my house we would spend the nite at danika's ...so THATS y i couldnt go bowling...cuz alex wanted to see a movie..and it was at the same time as bowling...and i had already told danika we were going to hang out...so instead of hanging out at bowling we hung out at the movies...following me? lol ptrobably not... so we went to see white noise...and WOW was that fun...we went in and we sat in the fnot...but we turned around to find 3 empty seat that werent in the ftront...and so we went up to the only three just to be told that they were saved...so we walked back to the front and alex left to go to the bathroom...sooooooooooooooo right when me n danika sat down...this black dude cam up bhind up and was like "hey wanna come sit with me n my friends?" STUPID danikas HAD to say "ummm no, i think were good" GOD danika lmao no its ok...we'll do it sum other time :-D lol wellllllll we watched the movie and it was soooooooo scary lol idc if u guys dont say it was i was going nuts...we all were screaming and like sitting in one seat together...so neways.. we got cold stone after and watched these stupid like 6th graders being dumb outside...and this like 8year old boy made out with this like 14 year old girl...ugh it was sick...soooo my dad picked us up we went back to danikas and maddie then came over.... we watched napolean dynamite...hilarious...then alex went up to bed...and then we watched thirteen...also a great movie...and then we went upstairs to sleep...but we talked for SOOOOOOOOOo long...until 3 actually...and omg...that is the BEST i haev EVER felt...lmao...we just let all out secrets out and i mean ALL of em out and we just talked about things we should have takled so long ago... me n danika n maddie are now officially gonna live a lil...and start finding sum other guys to hang out with...haha u 2 know wut im talking about...omg i feel soooo mcuh better....LETS GO TO THE MOVIES TOMORROW!!! CUZ IM PRETTY MUCH DONE WITH THE PROJECT AND THEN WE CAN GO ON MONDAY TOO!!!!!!!!! or smwhere else for sum variety...yup i love all of you so much!!! u guys are so awesome maddie and danika...im trusting you guys that everything that me, maddie or danika said ...well be kept btween us...i mean, NOTHING leaves that room lmao nothing....i love you guys...i think i could tust u with my life.....cant wait till we start hangin out more...and not just at each others houses...even tho i still like doing that...cuz its fun to just b with each other!!!! love forever n ever <3kelly <3CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

Friday friday friday [14 Jan 2005|03:00pm] [ mood | horny-(danika made me put it!) ] [ music | abc's-haha lil hava is playing with her abc toy ] hmmm well right now im with the lovely danika...were boring ppl...but just being together is cool... soooi was late today...but i got to see brittany and the auzzie...and brittany made this one girl run to get out of the way of her car lmao...wut a horrible driver...i still loev her tho 1st period...boring kinda...i just studied for the test in 2nd...and i talked to laura sum more!!!...but me and danika agree that her boyfriend is the ugliest in the world...and the guy that sits in front of danika n english likes her too...i just thot that was gross hahahaha 2nd period...we had a test...idk it was kinda hard...the questions made no sense...so idk how i did on that..but i kept making faces at danika...haha and then i wrote notes to maddie danika and kellie asking them all to spend the nite... turns out kellie couldnt...but danika could and maddie would come after her practice.. 3rd period...we did researchfor our project...god! she gives us way too much crap in that class...neways...that period was dumb and broing... 4th period...another test...sucked booty...i couldnt get the answer on the stupid augmented one i wanted to shoot myself lmao but its all good...IM SO PROUD OF MICHELLE!! she got the answer when me n kim both couldnt!!! haha good for her!...welllllllllllll lunch...fashion show...FARID AND JENNA?!?!?!?!?! weird....hahah boring too so i got sum lunch...zach just wouldnt stop...so i had to hide behind ppl lmao...funny stuff.. 5th period...uhhhh i cant..rememeber...oh yea, i talked to and worked with these two girls...that sit next to me...but...i forgot their names...i am officially stupid lmao...wellllllll we did that...i talked to michelle bout bowling...i didnt knwo if i was gonna b able to go but i still said i would...i guess i shouldnt have...eh, o well, my fault...but yea...that was ok 6th peeriod...brooke and jordi are sooo funny...we were addressing envelopes...and they started laughing and cracking up at the most random things..and i just remembered the times that brooke was on the fone and sounded like a man...u had to of been there...and i ate cat food...dont ask...god, those are sum fun times... after shcool i went to detention but the teacher wasnt there so i was just like screw it im leaving...went home called up danika...AND NOW SHES HERE i love her... yay were gonna do sumthing fun... but yes, i love all of you too!!! <3kelly <31 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

TODAY WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!! [12 Jan 2005|08:30pm] [ mood | GREAT..but kinda disappointed ] [ music | Pinback ~ Non-Photo Blue ] well, so tuesday...i ditched last period again haha, no biggy stupid class neways...and i went with miss madelaine to her orthadontist appt. haha that was fun...then we got ICE CREAM yum and thennnnn weeeee oh yea we ewnt and got our eyebrows done...sarah put on all this lip gloss i was laughing nside myself lmao...and she took this picture of herself n put in on my fone backround ... and was like "dont erases it" haha...i did...when igot home...it wasnt that pretty ...lol no offense maddie i love ur sister and think shes cute...but not in tha pic lmao...ok well thennnnnnnnn todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy computers: talked to laura...shes cool...too bad shes leaving after this year...uhh got my book from the library...cuz im dumb like that and waited till after we were supposed to have been reading it for 2 days...and so i tried to catch up on all the reading..but omg i kept falling asleep..it just wasnat working... english: I FAILED MY TEST!!!!!!!! lmao yessssssssssss im lovin it...but uhhhim sad tho..danikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!...PSH who needs you ...im kididng u know that. i love you...i wrote my daily note to her...and laughed at our teacher cuz i remember when we used to think she was pregnant...haha...idk it was a random thought spanish: boring as hell...we did research all period..ima shoot mrs klingensmith math: we workedin groups to do our poster...we kept messing up...it was a pretty non eventful period...but thats ok cuz i was with kim michelle n kaley...and their cool..............its weird...i like being able to just be with ppl and not feeling like we AHVE to be doing sumthing or talking...just knowing that being with them is fun in itself...if thatmakes sense to neone? lmao...mayb not.. lunch...helped brittany with physics....carl came up n hugged me outta no where saying he was pregnant with my baby...lmao funny stuff... physics: had a test...made my head hurt 6th period: asdkjfa;k we had to clean out this room for hunt...but it was hilarious jordi n brooke are so funny...haha they took the sweatshirt outta there n were like...oh im just gonna take this home n wash it n wear it...they looked like hobos lmao but so did i so its all good...talked about winterformal, guys, myspace, dumb stuff then we weint to dickens to work on the projet...but she had to leave in 10 mintes...so we went n waited for my sister to pick us up...and i pointed at a blue car n said THATS HER and they thought i was talking about an old man...which i WASNT lmoa...it was great..maddie n michelle came over...talked on the cpu...ate food...they tried to make cookies...they looked like dinner rolls lmao...watched blue crush cuz it was on tv.. i found out sum interestin info from michelle, which made me laugh...eh we'll see tho sooooooooooooooooooooo today WAS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY...I WILL DO THIS I WILL!!!!!!!!!!! guys, its actually way better than yesterday...ima do this............................IM GOING TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i love you and im glad i can talk to yall ... u guys have been awesome...its like...things are slowly going in the right directino for me...and i feel soooooooooo good about it...like ak;djfa;kdj adkjmerrrrrrr i only know of one thing that could be better...and ill just have to deal w/ it............... .I.LOVE.YOU. Always, kelly <32 MeMoRiEs I'lL nEvEr FoRgEt~CaRvE yOuR nAmE iNtO mY hEaRt<3

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